PHoD Spleen Creatures II

DEMONESS TALES Creatures Assortment.

A nasty, hideous, rubbery, spiny, loathsome selection of no less than 52 disgusting, fanged, gangrenous, malignant Creatures from my NWN Demoness Tales series. (There were supposed to be fifty, since that's a nice, even number, but then Fifi found two additional disgusting monsters wedged down the back of an armchair which she insisted went in the Big Box with the others. And I don't argue with Fifi. Not when she's holding the Nuclear Locustomizer.

Demoness Tales being the epic-level anarchy, all-out mayhem and ultimate chaos that it is, pathetically rubbish enemies like Orcs and Trolls and plasticinely useless garbage like that just have no chance. Lucirath, the eponymous Renegade Demoness, wipes out entire armies of such hopelessly squashy cretinists in seconds. She demands bigger and far more dangerous opponents - you know the sort of thing, Ancient Eldritch Abominations from the Outer Abysses that can devour worlds just by looking at them. That sort of thing. "Obvious Spleens" in Lucirath's vernacular...

This Big Box of Hideously Strange Aberrations represents a semi-random assortment of some of the Creature Models I've made for Demoness Tales over the last few years, based, to one degree or another, on the monsters I've been drawing for over 25 years in my Demoness Tales comics. Despite the blatant sequelesque nature of the Hak's title, don't confuse it too closely with my first "Spleen Creatures" Hak from the Old Vault 'cause that one was just a pile of reskins and stuff loosely poked with a tentative stick in a few places. Like most of my stuff from the Old Vault, it wasn't any too clever. THIS Hak, on the other hand, features All-New Creatures which have been lovingly hit with big bricks in gmax for hour after hour until they're not only the right shape but are also in a really bad temper.

Beware these Spleen Creatures for they are Eeeeeevil and will very likely devour any and all daft heroes who go anywhere near them. Each Spleen comes with a Chromium-Plated Fully-Illuminated Genuine-Accessory Certificate of Guaranteed Savagery and will do everything in its considerable power to rampage through all your lovingly made Modules destroying everything in their path and ripping the heads off all those NPCs you've spent days creating... You have been warned... Don't come whinging to me if all your characters get bitten in half.

Fifi wishes it to be known that many of these "charming little beasties" will make excellent pets and animal companions for you, which will be much stronger than mouldy old bears or panthers or rubbish like that. I should probably point out that this highly irresponsible theory has never been put to the test - well, actually it was tested but we only ever found one forefinger and a few bloodstains of the testing team so the results are... questionable, to say the least. Attempts to make a pet out of any of these malevolent monsters are therefore undertaken entirely at your own risk and PHoD assumes absolutely no liability whatsoever for anyone eaten, torn apart, grotesquely mutilated beyond recognition or crushed to a paste during the so-called domestication process.

As keen observers will have notioced, the screenshots do not depict ALL 52 Spleen Creatures, but it shows most of them and gives you the general idea of the sort of nightmarish horrors you can expect to come pouncing out of the Big Box the moment you open it.

The Companion Hak to this one, "PHoD Really Nice Fluffy Harmless Little Creatures", will NOT be available any time soon as the Humongous Spleen Beasts ATE all the rubbish harmless fluffballs...

For more utterly pointless (and very silly) information upon these Spleen Creatures (as well as all other current PHoD projects, except the ongoing ALIEN and Doctor Who stuff which have their own threads, see the PHoD Things thread on the BioWare whassname site, link below... Specific Spleen relevant stuff starts on Page 5...

[URL]http://forum.bioware.com/topic/549221-phod-things/[/URL]

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UPDATE OF ULTIMATE STUPIDITY!!!!!

I spent hundreds, thousands, millions of hours wading through all the DEMONESS TALES Haks to ensure I didn't miss a texture for any of the Spleens... But by means of Blistering Incompetence of the First Magnitude, I forgot to check in my Override folder which is where I store my PHoD Weapon VFX. And it's one of those textures that is used for the emitters on the two OssuKnight models.

HUGE APOLOGIES! For anyone using the OssuKnights, the texture is now nailed belatedly to this page and Fifi has hit me with a big brick. Sorry.