PHoD Desert Stuff

What is PHoD Desert Stuff? It's... it's STUFF for DESERTS! I don't see what's so mind-numbingly confusing here - It's Rocks and Sand and... and not much else, 'cause there's not much else in Deserts. At least, not in simplistic, low-poly video game deserts anyway. That's kind've the point of deserts. It's why they call 'em "deserts".

BUT for all those who want BioWare's Desert Tileset to be a lot more LUMPY with all bits sticking out - here's your chance! Simply install PHoD's handy collection of ridiculously misshapen and deformed Rocks all over the nice, pristine sands and you immediately have a Lumpy Desert. With bits on. For all those who want a really nice, clinical, rock-free desert - do not use this material!

Included are fifty - count them, fifty - Lumpy Placeables, most of which are Rocks. Or, as we scientists call them "Big Bricks". Some of the Rocks are Outrageously Large. And some of the Rocks are very small. And some of the Rocks wear pooshty little hats and sing merry little tunes and... NO! No, wait! They don't do that! No, that's not Rocks! That's Pixies I'm thinking of. Easy mistake to make - Pixies and giant mineral formations sculpted by millennia of wind action and abrasive sand erosion - it's all the same sort of thing really. Except the Rocks are nothing like Pixies... So all that I said before, about them being similar, I must have been completely wrong.

Never mind, forget all that rubbish about Pixies - nasty, big-nosed, daft-hatted, ugly-booted little freaks anyway. My Fairies don't like Pixies... But then, PHoD Fairies are - atypical... Anyway - forget I even mentioned Pixies. There isn't even the slightest, vestigial hint of even a rudimentary connection to Pixies about these Desert Rocks.

ALSO - aside from the Hak having nothing to do with Pixies - there are also other things besides Rocks. You also get a selection of Desert Plants (mostly very spiny, don't try sitting on them), you get Sand Dunes and Splats, you get a Skeletal Dead Thing (not strictly deserty, but what the hell, it was lying there), you get eroded Desert Ruins, you get a rubbish Desert Statue (even more eroded) and you get Desert Pixies.

So, for anyone contemplating a desert adventure, this provides you with plenty of - hang on... Let me read that back... As I thought... The end of the above paragraph should have read "you do NOT get Desert Pixies." Becuase there aren't any and there's no such thing as them and even if there is such a thing as them they don't live in deserts, do they? No, Pixies live in wheelbarrows; everybody knows that. And no, you can't put a wheelbarrow in the middle of the desert and expect Pixies to magically manifest in it, because Pixies are allergic to sand - everybody knows that too! Now, have I made myself absolutely clear here? There are NO Pixies in this Hak because there's no such thing as them, they're allergic to sand and my Fairies hate them. Right. Now that we've got that settled...

IMPORTANT NOTE:- A word about Pixies - TEXTURES! Textures, not accursed, nasty, weedy, gibbering, damned, wretched, verminous little Pixies! I hate them. And they smell bad too. Textures... Oh, forget it, I'll start again.

IMPORTANT NOTE, PROPERLY, REALLY:- A word about textures... The Desert Rocks (and sand) take their textures direct from the BioWare Desert Tileset. Specifically, the rocks use ttd01_cliff02. This means that, whether you use the original BioWare Desert rock texture or an override of your choosing, these rocks will match. Yes, they're chameleonic rocks! And not Pixies. However, if you wish to use the PHoD Desert Rock texture (see screenshots), it is included here, along with all the other BioWare Desert textures that reference the rocks. If you wish to use the PHoD texture, just throw all the textures starting "ttd01_" into your override folder or a Hak - whatever works best for you. The texture starting "tbd02_" is an override to allow you to use the PHoD rock texture with TomBanjo's raised desert terrain add-on for the BioWare Desert Tileset - I think it's available in Project Q. If you DON'T want to use the PHoD texture, simply extract all the above mentioned textures (leaving the other textures intact), carefully arrange them on a tray and then hit them with Big Bricks and crush them to pastes and crumple them up and throw them away and stamp on them and smother Pixies with them and... and... that sort of thing.

PHoD has now become convinced that a Pixie - that there's no such thing as - is hiding just the other side of the room and so PHoD is now preparing to strike like lightning with a Big Brick and push the little freak's ugly hat in... stalking slowly... slowly... so very slowly... getting closer... ever closer... until suddenly, poised, a perfect hunting machine, an engine of focused destruction, Nature's ultimate apex predator, PHoD lunges and - eurgh! Falls in the dustbin... RRRRRRRGGGHH!

Fifi:- Normal Service will be resumed just as soon as the Shabby Deluded Hyena Object stops blundering about with a waste paper basket on his head, foaming at the muzzle and shrieking about "Pixiegeddon".