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Untitled

Author: 
stalkingwolf
Old Vault Category: 
fanfiction
Old Vault ID: 
207

Twas the night before release and all through the forums,

Flames were flying and tempers were stormin.

The pre-orders were made online with care,

In hope that neverwinter would soon be there.

Trent Oster was nestled all snug in his bed,

While visions of gnomes danced in his head.

With Poly and his kobold and Jay locking the crap,

We all settled down for a Neverwinter rap.

When out of the forums there rose such a clatter,

Urza sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the forums he flew like a flash,

Don't speed to the store it's not worth a crash.

When the moon went down we all got a show,

Millions in line and it only would grow.

When what to our watery eyes should appear,

A bunch of brown trucks all full of fear.

With a brand new driver and all full of stress,

I knew in a moment it must be U.P.S.

More rapid than haste in boxes they came,

We all whistled and shouted and called out the names.

Now elf, now half-elf, now human and gnome

Now halfling, now dwarf, now-half orc . . .no drow???

To the top of the castle and over the wall,

Hack away! Slash away! Smash away all!

Though leaves in the deep woods tileset fly,

They just couldn't give us a good look at the sky.

So up to the house tops the rogues they flew,

With pockets full of gold picked from me and from you.

And then in a twinkling I heard a spell cast,

Was a druid with root saying hey not so fast.

The rogue drew his sword and was turning around,

But one final spell sent him down to the ground.

He was dressed all in leather twas a find suit,

And his character was tweaked with all kinds of loot.

A bundle of daggers he had stuck in the wizards back,

He sure was a thief, just look in his pack!

A paladins eyes they twinkled, a dead rogue how merry,

But there is plenty more player killers so be very weary.

The Ranger was ready he packed up his bow,

And he marched off with his party to find a new foe.

As they entered the dungeon he clenched tight his teeth,

And the odor in the hall caused them much grief.

He had a broadsword and a big brown belly,

And chopped up his enemies as if they were jelly.

It was chubby and plump, a right ugly old elf,

Wait a minute that's an ogre he thought to himself.

Bags under his eyes and an ache in his head,

The day long over he really should be in bed.

He spoke not the truth when he called in sick for work,

He didn't care about that project his boss was a jerk.

And checking the phone to make sure it's off the hook,

He went back to reading his world builders book.

We sprang to are feet, to Bioware gave a whistle,

Casting on them Bless and pray not for a fizzle.

Neverwinter rules but don't forget the wife

Happy Adventuring to all, and to all... a good-life.





Untitled © stalkingwolf

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