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Too Many Arrow Wounds

Old Vault Category: 
Old Vault ID: 

Dranis was returning from a successful mission against The Restistance. It was his job to find the secret meeting place of the Za'rashin, the highest faction of The Restistance.

Dranis knew that one of the members was aware of his presence. The drow knew that as soon as he left the area, that member would tell the rest of the knights, in their shining armor and sparkling swords, that they were being watched and Dranis knew that they would send their most nimble men after him.

So he ran.

He ran as fast as his feet would take him.

It was raining that night. Lightning flashed in the eyes of Dranis. He knew he had to face the men that were trailing him. He knew he had to turn and fight the soldiers. He knew he was doomed.

"@#$!." He muttered as the mud splashed on his boots. "I have to get back."

He felt a sharp pain in his shoulder blade. He cringed.

"Halt!" Dranis heard behind him.

"Oh crapcrapcrapcrapcrap..." Dranis thought. He raised his arms and dropped the documents he stole from the meeting onto the mud.

"Now, turn around slowly." Said the voice behind him. He heard the stretching of a bow that suggested he really should turn around slowly, and not say a damn word while doing so.

As Dranis turned his head, he smelled the familiar smell of blood. But it was his own blood, trickling down the back of his shirt.

Dranis saw that the voice behind him was, as predicted, a gaurd. And he also saw that the sound of a bow stretching, was indeed, a bow stretching.

"Who the @#$! are you?" said the scout with the stretching bow.

"Uh..." Dranis eventually said after a long hard thought. "Dranis Fox of the um...Kraz-ladesh rebel faction."

"Rebel faction against what?" Asked the scout.

"Rebel faction against The Resistance." said Dranis.

"But The Resistance IS a rebel faction." explained the scout, a bit perplexed about the idea of there being two different rebel factions.

"Oh, well there's something I have to tell Kraz-ladesh Central Command." said Dranis, who was quite pleased with himself so far.

"I think you're lieng." said the scout, as the young lad's eyebrows twitched.

"Well I think thats sweat on your forehead, not rain." said Dranis "Maybe, just maybe, you're afraid of me. Maybe you have even the slightest impression that you are about to go up in flames." And with that, a large number of sparks shot of out Dranis' fingers. "Maybe you think that you should turn, run, and say that I have escaped. That would be a much better solution than what will happen if you don't."

The scout stood shaking for a bit, and then turned and ran. When he got to his superiors, he said that Dranis' had escaped.

"Can't catch me, mother @#$!ers!!" Dranis bellowed into the darkness.

The rest of the night was relatively calm. Dranis made it to the local town, and checked into the in. He was having a bit of trouble taking off his shirt. Then he remembered the arrow.

"Hmm...better get someone to look at this." Dranis thought.

Dranis walked over to his bed, and snapped off some of the arrow on his bedpost. He then walked to the next room in the inn and knocked on the door. There was a badly painted red cross on the door. Dranis assumed it was blood.

He felt large tremblings in the floorboard and then the door flew open, smashed into a wall, and shattered into splinters.

"Who be dere?" said a large half-orc who undoubtebly is responsible for the shattered door/

"Hi," said Dranis as he turned around. "Could you help me out with this?" as he pointed a thumb at the arrow wound.

The mighty medic grabbed his set of "tweezers" or "tongs" as humans call them, and yoinked the arrow out, ripping quite a bit of flesh as he did so. Dranis made a little yelp as the arrow was pulled out. The half-orc then ripped a peice of cloth from his bed and spat on it. He then proceeded to splat the cloth on the wound.

"Good 's new." said the half-orc as he went downstairs and fetched another door.

"Thank you." Dranis said, he was still shaking in pain and disgust. "I hope it isn't infected."

The Empire, foes of The Resistance, and most every other rebel faction of anything that has ever existed, was reaping the benifits of the spy named Dranis Fox. He was handsomely underpaid and neglected. The Emperor knew that Dranis had some potential, but, seeing as though he was an evil emperor of an evil empire, he just kinda said..."@#$! it." and that was the end of that.

Unfortunately, Dranis' efforts were all in vain. The Resistance was already planning a battle against the empire that would completely devastate it. The attack would take place against the Emperors palace.

Before the battle, the world seemed quite still. The Resistance's army met in a large group outside the palace and awaited commands from Jeb, the number 1 general in The Resistance. Little did they know, Jeb was a total coward. They had been waiting there for about an hour for Jeb to say something. Eventually, an arrow nailed Jeb in the forehead. This was no moral boost to the soldiers, but at least they knew they could start fighting. And with that, a great battle ensued. Later they called the battle "The Battle of Anticipation."

Dranis was currently away at the inn, he was swirling a shot of blood whiskey. It was his own recipe. He took a shot of whiskey, poured a small bit of fish juice in it, and 6 drops of blood. It's a dandy way to cure/cause a hangover. Depends how much whiskey is in it.

He had no idea the emperor was killed. He had just recently reported to him and gave him the muddy documents. Dranis was merely killing time and brain cells. The sun was hanging low in the sky. This meant that Dranis could soon make his departure back into the outdoors. He went to the stairs to get back up to his room, threw some coins down at the bar, and continued to the second story. He sheathed his two short swords and made his way to the door. He knew he had to make his way to the meeting place again. Recent spy information that he picked up from a gaurd at the palace said that they were holding another meeting there, and nobody had the balls to spy there.

When Dranis had arrived, he found a pretty lanky gaurd sitting on a log roasting a sausage on an open flame.

"What the hell?" Dranis said.

"Yea, um, the Za'rashin told me to tell you that they won't be here anymore. They won, or something. They said that they wouldn't want you to sit up there in that tree all night." explained the gaurd.

"Those bastards!!" yelled Dranis.

"Yea, that's what I said." said the gaurd.

"What about you?" asked Dranis "Would you have stayed here the whole night if I hadn't come?"

"Huh? I get paid well." explained the gaurd, who had just taken a bite out of his sausage. "Also, I don't mind it really, night under the stars, a roaring fire. Kinda like the boy scouts."

"Oh." said Dranis.

And again, Dranis retreated to the Inn. When he arrived, the bar was empty, except two buggers in shining armor, and the barkeep, who had long since gone to sleep on a stool.

"Who the @#$! are you, coming in so late at night?" asked one of the shining buggers.

"Dranis, now shove off." said Dranis as he made his way to the stairs.

"Dranis?!" said both of the buggers simultaneously. One of them grabbed Dranis' arm.

"What's it to you?" asked Dranis.

"We just happen to be looking for a Dranis Fox." explained the bugger who wasn't holding Dranis' arm.

"Oh, well in that case my name is John. Now @#$! off." said Dranis as he twisted his arm free.

Dranis awoke the next day in a prison with a nasty ass headache. Ironically, Dranis had been thrown in this same jail cell about 129 times during his spying career. The gaurd was always asleep. There was a large hole under his bed which he could crawl into and it leads all the way to the basement of the Inn. The bartender became so accustomed to when and what time Dranis would get back, he would place a plate of food near the tunnel 15 minutes before he crawled out.

Dranis was happily munching on the steak and kidney pie on the exit of the tunnel when the bartender came down and asked what he went to jail for this time.

"Beats me." Dranis said.

"Don't they have to tell you?" asked the bartender.

"Apparently not." said Dranis as he cleaned off the last bit of meat on his plate. "Did you know who those guys were last night?"

"No, they just kinda turned up. Said they were looking for you. I think they were from the empire." said the bartender.

"Why is the empire looking for me?" asked Dranis. "I thought I was on their side."

The bartender shrugged. "I really don't know."

Dranis got a good days rest for the long trip back to the palace. He intended to find out what the hell just happened and who the hell did it to him.

Quite a while later, Dranis arrived at the front gate, which was nearly completely destroyed.

"What the @#$! happened here?" Dranis asked to the gaurd.

"The Resistance attacked." explained the gaurd. "They killed the emperor and replaced him with some asshole named 'Cecil'."

"Oh, @#$!." muttered Dranis "And me without my paycheck.

Dranis hastily made his way into the palace.

"Who the devil are you?" asked one of the inner gaurds.

Dranis punched the man as he continued scurrying towards the throne room. Dranis licked the blood from his knuckles. They were bleeding for some odd reason. It later occured to Dranis that he had punched a man wearing a really pointy helmet. He proceeded to rip a piece of his collar off to cover the wound. This was considered very "indecent" to The Resistance members. It was against the law to expose more than 20% of your neck. And now that law really WAS the law.

As Dranis made his way to the palace, many Resistance women fainted when he passed.

"You still got it, my friend." Dranis said to himself.

The door burst open and slammed against the wall in the throne room. Everyone in the great hall looked at Dranis like someone would like at a man smoking a cigarette in a fireworks shop.

"Who the devil are you?!" demanded the tall man sitting in the throne.

"Hold on. Why don't you just say @#$! like normal people?" asked Dranis.

Dranis woke up a while later in a prison with a nasty ass headache.

"Oh, god damnit, not this again." murmured Dranis.

"Oh, your awake." said the prison gaurd.

"Hi, Jack, how are ya?" asked Dranis.

"Same old, same old, Dranis." said Jack, the prison gaurd.

"What am I in here for this time?" he asked.

"Swearing." explained Jack.

"There's a law against that now?" asked Dranis.

"Oh, and public nudity." said Jack.

"I wasn't naked was I?" said Dranis, who was touching his pants to see if they were still there.

"No, not by my standards, but to these new buggers in control, nearly everything is indecent." Jack said.

"Why's that?" asked Dranis.

"Beats me." said Jack.

"Oh, well. I'll see ya later than Jack." Dranis said as he lifted up the bed.

"Yea, see ya later, Dranis." replyed Jack as he went back to sleep.

Dranis got out of the tunnel and started chomping at the leg of lamb left for him when he got back.

"How do you do it?" Dranis asked.

"Beats me." said the bartender.

"You really amaze me, my friend." said Dranis.

"I'm just wondering when you'll pay your bartab." said the bartender.

"Prolly never." Dranis said.

"Yea, you're probably right." said the bartender with a sigh.

Dranis again waited for dusk to leave the Inn. This whole palace thing was becoming a bit monotoneus. He was again making his way through the woods, said hi to the gaurd at the campfire. Dranis smelled something in the air around the campfire grounds...something not right. He heard a wizz of an arrow go past his face.

"OH @#$!!!" yelled Dranis.

He heard another arrow and he felt a roaring pain in his leg.

"Damn I've been ambushed." thought Dranis.

The adrenaline rushing through his body was enough to propel him up a tree, hell, it was enough to propel a rhino up a tree. He was still trying to see where the arrows came from. All he saw was the foilage and the stars. All he heard was scared deer fleeing from the scene, and birds flapping their wings in terror. What he smelled was not was neither foul nor sweet. It was the absence of smell. But it was there, and that was really really creepy.

Another arrow wizzed past his ear and stuck into a branch behind him.

Dranis' eyes suddenly shone in the darkness. They shone a bright red and he was trying to spot his predator in the darkness.

"There's that mother @#$!er, hiding behind that shrubbery." thought Dranis as his eyes went back to the regular non-shining mode.

He lept off his good leg out and over the shrubbery and whipped out his two swords while doing so. He flew through the leaves blades first onto the man with the bow. The man dropped his bow quickly and smacked Dranis with a large club, which sent the small drow flying into a clearing.

"Holy @#$!!" said Dranis, as he caught his wind back. Dranis coughed out some blood, and a few twigs.

He heard a few thunderous crashes and deer ran out of the forest into the clearing with a look in it's eyes that kinda said "If I was you, I'd get the @#$! out of here."

A tree fell down from the forest and landed into the clearing. Dranis heard a mighty roar and a stomp.

A huge, ugly ass, smelly, foul, and rude creature emerged from the forest.

"Who da @#$! 's you?!" asked the creature to a now terrified, and soiled Dranis.

"Um...Dranis Fox?" said Dranis, who was still bleeding in numerous places.

"Da outlaw?" asked the creature.

"No, n-not really. More like...a law-avoiding citizen." explained Dranis, who never really considered himself an outlaw, he didn't have enough scars to be one.

"Dranis be an outlaw like Copernicus." said the creature.

"Who's Copernicus?" asked a confused Dranis.

"Copernicus is Copernicus." said the creature, who was a bit perplexed as to why Dranis was confused.

"Oh. I think I get it now. You're Copernicus?" said Dranis.

"Yup!" said Copernicus who was wearing a proud smile. "Copernicus hurt you?"

"Just a little bit." said Dranis, who was famed for lieng for protection of pride.

"Copernicus thought you be scout from Empire." explained Copernicus.

"Well, I'm on my way there now, but I think I may have to turn back." said Dranis as he inspected his arrow wound.

"Copernicus take you dere, right quick." said Copernicus.

Dranis awoke in his room at the Inn with a nasty ass headache and a large smelly Copernicus sitting by his bed.


Too Many Arrow Wounds © Bel_Shamaroth

Migrate Wizard: 
First Release: 
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