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Dear Strumpet - I'm Not An Ogre


Dear Strumpet,

I’m an alchemist running a small shop outside of Luskin and have run into a bit of a snag. While experimenting with two elixirs, I apparently distilled the wrong mixture of herbs and, well, now I’m an ogre. Just so you know, I’m not normally an ogre. Ask anyone! Well, anyone except my ex-wife, she’ll tell you a different story, but I digress.

Whatever I try doesn’t seem to have any effect over this transformation that I’ve caused and I don’t think I can live like this. Luskin isn’t the most understanding city when it comes to monsters. What can I do?


Aggravated Ogre

Dear Aggravated,

While not a “licensed” alchemist, I know there are a few remedies around that could help. If you can’t find a suitable humanoid cure, you could always try to mix up another form that is more palatable to your surroundings. Perhaps you should try for something less imposing, like a kobold or imp. You could always go the animal route. Everyone loves a house cat, and you have the added bonus of curling up in front of the fire during the coming winter.

If that doesn’t tickle your fancy, you could make the best of the situation and try to use your new condition to better the lives of the townsfolk. You could rent yourself out doing small odd jobs like lifting mule carts with broken axles or as a bouncer at the local tavern. Not many drunkards will give you trouble now.

There are also always the seasonal jobs that you now could fill quite easily. I’m sure there are a few Autumn Harvest Festivals that need a scary monster to jump out at the local children in the Haunted Barn. I’m sure you can fit in nicely if you just put your mind to it.


The Grumpy Strumpet

Migrate Wizard: 
First Release: 
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